It's Been Awhile...

and needless to say...alot has happened. I used this as my outlet for what I couldn't talk to anyone else about or simply just needed to "talk". In December my wonderful husband came home from Iraq, best Christmas gift ever. Hrmmm...that's catches you up to present time lol.


I've experienced alot this past week...two weeks. Like I mentioned, hubby came home just a month ago and like usual (Warning TMI) it was the first day of that time of the month. Well, last weekend we discovered we were pregnant (absolutley thrilled!!) then four short days later we weren't. Yeah...my joy was short lived. And very devastating. I'm just now out of the bed and feeling "normal" again...well, as normal as I was to begin with. I'm finally able to smile, to get through the day without breaking down when those commercials come on (the remote was constantly in my hand so I could escape the baby commercials), I'm finally able to go spend time with my niece and laugh again instead of thinking of what could have been. I gave myself about a week, now its time to pick up the pieces and keep going. We want a baby, to get our little family started. But this actually took us by surprise that it happened so quickly and I know deep down that everything happens for a reason and that it just wasn't the right time. It will happen when it's supposed to.


Throughout all of this I discovered just how supportive my family can be, especially my sister. I also found out which friends really are true friends, the ones worth keeping around and the ones it's time to let go of. People I've met once have been a better friend than some I've known for years. But that's just how things happen, people come and go. I also have a friend on the military spouse support network that is going through the same thing, almost at the same time. Sharing the news and information and loss with her is helping me alot, I just hate she is having to experience this because I know it's hard.

I'm excited to start my new job on Monday...one reason I'm up so late tonight, gotta get it out of my system. :) I actually was supposed to start the job this week but thankfully the staff has been understanding with my situation. I'm also hoping to start taking some online courses and getting myself back in school.

I'm fully aware that not many, if any at all, read my blog...but it's nice to "let it all out"... but it's late and my eyes are extrememly tired. More tomorrow...more as I'm able to cope with things and as new experiences take place.