Just wanna scream!!!

Frustrated does not even come close to how I'm feeling...that and sleepy but that doesn't matter right now. We moved back to AR in May...and I have YET to find a job...WTH! Ok, I know times are hard right now and I read every day about hundreds of ppl filing unemployment every week but come on!! I lost my job on a completely unfair bases and now I can't find anything. I haven't been extrememly worried about it just yet but after 6 months I'm really starting to get worried and majorly stressed out. We need the income, I know I'm good at what I can do...I'm not even seeking "top dollar" pay...or even benefits...but I can't find anything. I'm especially upset because it's almost December and if I was still working at my old job I would be attending the Christmas Party soon when they give out all the awards...an award in Collections that I worked my @$$ off for an entire year just to be let go so some cute flirty guy could steal my job. I wasted two years working to my best potential, exceling and being so darn proud of myself because finally, FINALLY I was good (great) at something...and all for nothing! Now I sit home or at my sister's every day...that or I sleep the days away...bored and stressed and doing nothing to contribute to my family. What a total let down I must be to my awesome husband...Yes I'm venting but I don't care...no one reads my blog anyways. I just don't understand...how am I so pathetic that I can't find employment..... *cry*